Help me, Monkey

I've been thinking alot about getting a helper monkey. I have too much going on, and somehow a personal assistant seems too fancy. No, seriously. I've put alot of thought into this, and I have a ton of just, things, that I have to do every day that I think a monkey could handle just fine. For example, every night when I come home I have this little list in my head of small tasks I have to accomplish before I settle in with a glass of wine, or before I drift off to yet another episode of Law and Order. There is dinner to be made, dishes to be done, gym bag to be packed, lunch for the following day to be decided upon, packed into my cheap ass generic tupperware and packed away into the free-gift-Clinique bag that is just large enough for lunch. The Peanut is no help in this regard; he has his own list, I suppose. Like, take pretty pictures, fuck around with said pictures on the computer, show me pretty pictures...you get the idea. Of course, the list just goes away on the weekends and blissful disorder and chaos takes over, and it's okay. During the week, though, I think a helper monkey would fit into our lives perfectly. I like monkeys alot, so it would be like having a cat or dog, but more useful, ya know? And maybe I could bring him to work to take care of the tasks that my assistant sucks at, or rather, doesn't want to do, like sending a kajillion faxes every day, making copies and Fed Exing stuff. Maybe he could even fill my water jug up so I don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen twelve times a day. This is a fantastic idea and I need to make it happen.
I'm going to call him Jeeves.