All of them bitches

So holy shit. I was almost robbed in Ann Taylor today. Gentle, civilized, Ann Taylor. Is there nowhere that is safe anymore??
I was trying some things on during my lunch hour, and popped out of the dressing room to grab something else....for just a few seconds, I swear....leaving all of my stuff in the dressing room. When I returned, there was this burly, baseball cap wearing motherfucker bent over my purse. I think I was in shock and mumbled something that resembled, "Huh? What the...huh?" and then he shoved me aside and booked right out. My wallet was on top of my purse with the credit cards pulled out and the cash holder thingy unzipped, but luckily he didn't get anything. When I told the clerk, who had just then noticed Mr. Burly Motherfucker, she immediately called security, who arrived in a flash. I, of course, immediately called the Peanut to tell him the drama, who then magically appeared at the mall within ten minutes to, um, do something? I'm still not sure what his plans were, but I appreciated the rescue gesture. As we were walking to my car, I saw him. Just chilling at an outdoor table at Starbucks, without a care in the world. And luckily, without my cash and credit cards either. Bitches. When I pointed him out to the Peanut, he saw me do so and ran like the wind. I wish I had some awesome end to this saga, like "And then the Peanut tackled him to the ground and made him wish for quick death", but I don't. I did get a really cute shirt and pair of pants, though. What, did you think almost getting knocked out by some thug was going to prevent me from completing my shopping transaction?