Mother. Teacher. Secret Lover.

I really like TV. No, seriously. A lot. While the Peanut and I do lots of fun things on the weekends, weeknights are all about the television. I used to be all "kill your television" in my youth, and didn't even own a TV for a few years, and then when I did have a one, I didn't have cable for a few more. I used to be all about film, and had (have) quite the movie collection, but now I cave to the warm fuzzy goodness of television. I have some old favorites that I always watch. Namely, every variation of Law and Order. The Simpsons. Any kind of makeover show, including What Not to Wear (by far my favorite) and Queer Eye. I'm a huge fan of the Food Network, and as long as it's not one of those stupid list shows (Top 5 hamburgers! Everything you've ever wanted to know about Twinkies!), I'll watch most things on there. Except anything involving Emeril or Rachael Ray, or that fucked up show whose tagline is: "Make it semi-homemade". Cause bitch is crazy. I like Comedy Central a lot, especially South Park, Mad TV reruns, and The Daily Show (did y'all see Jon Stewart on Crossfire? Because I heart Jon Stewart, and he totally handed Tucker Carlson his ass, and called him a prick. Comedy gold, my friends, comedy gold). I tend to be very suspicious of new shows. I don't like to add anything to my repetoire, because let's face it, I already have quite a bit going on. It's hard for me to catch up on everything stored on my DVR, because there aren't enough hours in the day, mostly. But this season, there is a new show that I've become obsessed with. Like, I can't wait until it comes on, and then when it's over? I'm sad. I'm talking about Lost, of course (props to Amalah for inspiring me to write about the best. show. ever.). Are you all watching? Because you should be. It is so very, very good. There is mystery and intrigue and fantastic story lines and interesting characters. Every week a new layer is revealed, and it's become pastime among my Lost-watching friends and I to discuss what exactly is going on. Because it's super mysterious. We all have our theories, and all seem plausible, until you watch the next episode and realize that your theories are crap. Goddamn it, I love it.

A recap. Do enjoy.

Well. The past ten days have been a blur, but I shall try to recreate them for you as best as possible. I left for San Francisco last Friday morning with my co-worker, whom we'll call Junior League (in the best way possible, because I think she's super awesome. For real, though). JL and I had an absolutely fabulous day in SF, after getting some work crap out of the way. We did some shopping and then had drinks, before going to dinner at the Best. Restaurant. Ever. After the 5th glass of wine or so, things got silly. We ended up being there for about three hours, during which we consumed much cheese and bread and delicious other little tidbits, and then took a lovely little walk around the city. A good time was had by all. Saturday morning there was more shopping and eating and an $8 manicure that lasted, no shit, a full week. Alas, the fun came to end at about 3 on Saturday, during our first important conference meeting. Blah. Basically, the following four days went something like this: Wake at the crack of dawn. Stand in booth for eight hours at said conference. Talk non-stop to people who have the same questions over and over again but you totally have to sound fresh and interested because you want these people to come and work for you in a year when they've finished their residency. Go to job fair for two hours, where you talk to more people. About the same things. Over and over and over again. Go to hotel room for 3 minutes to change clothes, cry about your feet hurting, slap on cocktail attire that must include 4 inch heels even though you are totally dying. Go to cocktail party and schmooze some more. Don't eat dinner. Drink much wine. Fall into bed at midnight cursing your job and everyone you've talked to that day. Repeat. Four times. When I got back into town on Thursday I felt like a zombie (though not as cool as Chiara's zombie), but I had to come to work and talk about everything I had talked about during the conference. I seriously now hate the sound of my own voice. It kind of sucked because Thursday was my birthday (I am now officially in my early thirties. Fuck.), but I was not in a celebratory mood. Peanut had class Thursday night, but JR surprised me with the best cake ever, and a very cute Donna Karen bag. I was then further surprised by the Peanut who cut out of the class early to take me to dinner and shower me with presents (spa day...woo!). We did a more formal dinner on Friday night here, which was fabulous. The weekend was spent preparing all of the party favors for Vegas this weekend, which included bags full of candy for each guest (all 18 of them!), and blown up pictures of Big D's face glued to popsicle sticks with which to surprise him when he gets to the hotel to find us all there. I am so very excited about Vegas, as I will be the recipient of a big ass bonus check from work the day I leave, so hello blackjack, hello Sephora, hello bar tab. Ya gotta love Vegas.

Bosses=Assclowns

Am stressed. Can't think. Too much to do. Blah.
OK, I think I can try and be a little coherent now. I'm currently at work trying to finish up every little last thing, since I won't be here again until next Thursday (woo!). Tomorrow we are having an office "retreat", and oh yes, pay attention to those quotes, my friends, because I would like the head honchos to understand that taking a meeting and plopping it down at a country club does not a retreat make. It's just now we have eight hours of meeting time instead of the regular two or three, and now we are hostage to you, you bastards, because I can't say, "Oh, I forgot something at my desk, be right back" and then go and smoke a cig. And yes, there will be lunch, and that's great, but I am not enticed. I am not excited. We used to have retreats (hee, I just typed "treats") at my old job in DC, and they were fabulous. I worked for an artsy non-profit, so to them, retreat meant, hey, let's load you onto a bus and take you out into the middle of Virginia where there are horses and volley ball and horse shoes, and oh yeah, a whole lotta beer. And food. And sometimes? Margueritas. That was a retreat. Tomorrow? Not so much. Friday morning at the crack of dawn I am off to San Francisco for a very long conference. I have some work related stuff to do once I get to SF, and then have about 24 free hours, in which I plan to shop, get a pedi and a mani, eat, and then perhaps to mix it up, shop some more. And then I will have four days of standing at a booth and schmoozing and standing some more and then a little more schmoozing. It will be exhausting, I am sure, but I plan to be rejuvenated when I come home because it will be my birthday. Woo! I do so love my birthday. Have a lovely week, gentle readers. I shall report all of the San Francisco drama when I return.

Shit or get out of the kitchen

So yes, much fun was had by all this weekend at the Harvest festival. The fabulous K and J were in town from Seattle (though J has been completing an internship in LA for the past three months), and we got an early start on the day by hitting up the local market for picnic foods. I was not feeling so hot, as Peanut and I had gone out for happy hour the night before, and "happy hour" stretched to mean "happy hour plus four more hours". I decided a chocolate chip scone was in order, and that little guy totally fortified me for the following hours of free-flowing wine. Once we got to the festival, we realized that we really hadn't needed any picnic food, since every fancy restaurant in the area had a booth, and there was plenty of yummy things to munch on. Also, all of the wineries there had expanded their tastings and had brought four or five wines to pour. Good, good times. I managed to not be slovenly and spill wine all over myself, though I did not escape the chocolate from the chocolate-dipped strawberry. That ended up on my shirt. Sunday was spent lounging around. Peanut got some new gym shoes. We did a little grocery shopping. I did not go to Spinning, and it felt good.
My desire to move to Seattle came rushing back this weekend. I'm just not entirely happy with my job, and I am entirely unhappy about not being able to afford a home here. Those are two biggies, in my book. I'm a little intimidated about picking up and moving again, though. When I've done that before, I was young and unencumbered. I didn't have a lot of material possessions, I didn't even think about where I was going to live (when I moved from DC to San Diego); I just did it. Now that I'm all responsible and shit, it kind of freaks me out a little to think about the logistics of moving a household. Both Peanut and I would have to find jobs, he would have to enroll in school, we'd have to find a place to rent while we looked for a house. I don't know. But then I think that I don't want to stay in Santa Barbara forever. To quote Miss Doxie: I need to shit or get out of the kitchen, no?

Up on the soapbox

You know, I haven't talked much about the upcoming election here. I think it's mostly because when I try to articulate what and how I'm feeling, I get frustrated and angry and a touch of the mean reds. I am so absolutely terrified about what is going to happen on November 2. I am so utterly horrified at the possibility that he will be re-elected that I literally can't think straight. I watched the debate last week, and will watch again tomorrow. I watched as Kerry did an incredible job appearing strong and articulate and focused, while Bush looked dopey and resentful and struggled for his words. Struggled to address the simple questions posed to him; struggled to appear confident about our involvement in Iraq. I watched on Tuesday as Cheney said, with a straight face, "If we had to do it (Iraq) over again, we wouldn't change a thing". Jesus fucking Christ, Cheney, do you not have a TV?? Do you not read the newspaper? Do you not have intelligence in Iraq right this very moment reporting to you what a fucking nightmare it is?? I watched as both Bush and Cheney failed to respond to the fact that there is no connection between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein. That there is no connection between Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. That we focused so much time and energy on hunting and capturing Saddam, that the hunt for bin Laden fell by the wayside. Why do they refuse to address these points? Do they really think that the American people are so dumb as to not know what is really going on? Ugh, and even as I typed that sentence, the sad fact remains that yes, there is a huge contingency of Americans that are so ignorant as to not question the authority and decisions of this administration, and that is sad. That is why the polls are showing (at this moment, in any case) that 49% of the votes are going to go to Bush. God.
The issues that are most important to me are the ones that affect me directly. Right off the bat, I would never, ever vote for a candidate that didn't believe whole-heartedly in a women's right to choose. EVER. We are just one Supreme Court Justice away from an overturned Roe-v-Wade, and that is not something with which I am willing to gamble. Even if he is re-elected and none of the Justices retire, he will still continue to chip away at Roe in whatever way he can. Also? If you crap all over the environment in favor of big business? Probably not going to get my vote, either. If you are the first president since Hoover to have lost more jobs than gained them in your first four years as president (I'm looking at you, Bush), I don't think I'd be casting my vote your way. And if you're opposed to gay marriage? Fuck off, because those opposed to gay marriage tend to base that decision mostly, if not wholly, on religion, and hello?? Separation of church and state, anyone? Listen, if you don't like Kerry, that's fine. Vote for a third party candidate. Shit, vote for Nadar, if you need to. Here's hoping for a celebration in 26 days rather than a funeral.

The weekend wrap up

And how was your weekend? Mine was lovely, thanks for asking. Friday was the big BBQ bash on the beach that Peanut's company hosted. They went public on Thursday, so there was much to celebrate, and celebrate we did with not-the-best wine, suspicious beer (Island Brewing Company? Wha?) but some yummy food. If people want to have large quantities of wine on the cheap, why don't they ask me?? There are so many local wines that are not expensive and are quite good, but I digress. Peanut's co-workers are all quite fun, so we continued the party downtown at a bar, but I quickly found that I am totally getting old and that by 8 I really needed to go home (to be fair, we had been drinking since 1, so, you know, I'm not completely lame). Saturday after a lovely breakfast at the beach we went to the Avocado Festival , which was kind of a suckfest, but what can ya do? I took the adventurous route and tried some avocado ice cream (meh, not so good), but then changed my mind and tossed that in favor of a snow cone. It was tasty. Shaun of the Dead was all that I hoped it would be, in that while it was most certainly a romantic comedy with zombies, it was also really funny in that dry British wit sort of way. Two enthusiastic thumb's up. After the movie I was craving some comfort food, so we made an impromptu pasta feast. Well, really just some cheese ravioli and garlic breadsticks, but it was really quite delicious. I also did some damage with some Snackwell lemon cookies that night, but my stomach totally let me know how pissed it was for the following 24 hours. Sunday morning was Spinning, and then a trip down South with JR to find the perfect accessories for our Halloween costumes. We didn't have much luck, but I still spent $70 at Target. On nothing. How exactly does that happen?? In any case, I'm excited about Halloween, as we're going to this place, and I will be a naughty nun, and the Peanut will be a priest with some devilish accents. Good, good times. I'm trying to find exactly the right corset and fishnets that will make this costume fab, and I haven't had any luck yet. I shall persevere.

Me Me Me

First, shout out to Chiara. I emailed you, and it bounced back. Love to talk to you about the debate!
Here's a meme that I stole from Type A. As did she, I've bolded the stuff I've done. Read and enjoy.....
01. bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. swam with wild dolphins
03. climbed a mountain
04. taken a ferrari for a test drive
05. been inside the great pyramid
06. held a tarantula
07. taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. said "i love you" and meant it
09. hugged a tree
10. done a striptease
11. bungee jumped
12. visited paris
13. watched a lightning storm at sea
14. stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. seen the northern lights
16. gone to a huge sports game
17. walked the stairs to the top of the leaning tower of pisa
18. grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. touched an iceberg
20. slept under the stars
21. changed a baby's diaper
22. taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. watched a meteor shower
24. gotten drunk on champagne
25. given more than you can afford to charity
26. looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. had a food fight
29. bet on a winning horse
30. taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. asked out a stranger
32. had a snowball fight
33. photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. held a lamb
36. enacted a favorite fantasy
37. taken a midnight skinny dip
38. taken an ice cold bath
39. had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. seen a total eclipse
41. ridden a roller coaster
42. hit a home run
43. fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. adopted an accent for an entire day
46. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. had two hard drives for your computer
49. visited all 50 states
50. loved your job for all accounts
51. taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. had amazing friends
54. danced with a stranger in a foreign country (Yasu, Alexi!)
55. watched wild whales
56. stolen a sign
57. backpacked in europe
58. taken a road-trip
59. rock climbing
60. lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. midnight walk on the beach
62. sky diving
63. visited ireland
64. been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. in a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. visited japan
67. bench-pressed your own weight
68. milked a cow
69. alphabetized your records
70. pretended to be a superhero
71. sung karaoke
72. lounged around in bed all day
73. posed nude in front of strangers
74. scuba diving
75. got it on to "let's get it on" by marvin gaye
76. kissed in the rain
77. played in the mud
78. played in the rain
79. gone to a drive-in theater
80. done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. visited the great wall of china
82. discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. dropped windows in favor of something better
84. started a business
85. fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. toured ancient sites
87. taken a martial arts class
88. sword fought for the honor of a woman
89. played d&d for more than 6 hours straight
90. gotten married
91. been in a movie
92. crashed a party
93. loved someone you shouldn't have
94. kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. gotten divorced
96. had sex at the office
97. gone without food for 5 days
98. made cookies from scratch
99. won first prize in a costume contest
100. ridden a gondola in venice
101. gotten a tattoo
102. found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. rafted the snake river
104. been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. got flowers for no reason
106. masturbated in a public place
107. got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. performed on stage
110. been to las vegas
111. recorded music
112. eaten shark
113. had a one-night stand
114. gone to thailand
115. seen siouxsie live
116. bought a house
117. been in a combat zone
118. buried one/both of your parents
119. shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. been on a cruise ship
121. spoken more than one language fluently
122. gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. bounced a check
124. performed in rocky horror
125. read - and understood - your credit report
126. raised children
127. recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. created and named your own constellation of stars
130. taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. called or written your congress person
133. picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. walked the golden gate bridge
136. sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. had an abortion or your female partner did
138. had plastic surgery
139. survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. wrote articles for a large publication
141. lost over 100 pounds
142. held someone while they were having a flashback
143. piloted an airplane
144. petted a stingray
145. broken someone's heart
146. helped an animal give birth
147. been fired or laid off from a job - laid off, thank you very much
148. won money on a t.v. game show
149. broken a bone
150. killed a human being
151. gone on an african photo safari
152. ridden a motorcycle
153. driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. ridden a horse
158. had major surgery
159. had sex on a moving train
160. had a snake as a pet
161. hiked to the bottom of the grand canyon
162. slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. visited more foreign countries than u.s. states
165. visited all 7 continents
166. taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. eaten kangaroo meat
168. fallen in love at an ancient mayan burial ground
169. been a sperm or egg donor
170. eaten sushi
171. had your picture in the newspaper
172. had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime - Well, they were as healthy as can be expected
173. changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. gotten someone fired for their actions - does this count if I did the firing?
175. gone back to school
176. parasailed
177. changed your name
178. petted a cockroach
179. eaten fried green tomatoes
180. read the iliad
181. selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. taught yourself an art from scratch
185. killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. skipped all your school reunions
188. communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. been elected to public office
190. written your own computer language
191. thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. built your own pc from parts
194. sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. had a booth at a street fair
196. dyed your hair
197. been a dj
198. found out someone was going to dump you via livejournal
199. written your own role playing game
200. been arrested - Sshhhh. I was young and foolish.